Pity is better than insult, but it still isn’t a positive reaction.
We often pity people who we think are below us. We use pity to establish a positive self image, when in reality, we feel superior to the other, and that feeling of superiority is not a positive trait. When someone is not able to take care of their health, due to negligence, lack of exercise, it’s easy to say you feel bad for them. “Poor guy, can’t take care of his health.” Or when someone hold a grudge against another, an obviously negative and counterproductive thing to do, we say “I feel bad for this person’s inability to end a fight.”
I cannot even count the number of times such expressions of pity have entered my mind. Because I have an easy time controlling my diet and spending my time wisely, I see myself as “above” the ones who cannot do that. There are many people who cannot do what I can do easily, but it doesn’t make me better. When we blame poor people for their circumstances, when we pity their inability to get out of their situations, we aren’t helping anyone. There are times when I sometimes eat too much. There are many times when I procrastinate. To be human is to indulge in pleasures, sometimes uncontrollably. Sometimes these indulgences lead to self-destruction. That’s what they are meant to do. That I can rise above my desires at times, does not erase all the times I have succumbed to them. For some reason, when comparing ourselves to those we see inferior, we forget all the times we have behaved in similar ways. It is so easy to judge other people, and then to pity them. Doing so creates status differences. It creates the distinctions between people who are productive and those who are not. By denying our own shortcomings, by pitying, we are just adding divisions to an already-divided world.
I think that a world without pity is a world with compassion and empathy. Because if you don’t pity the man who eats too much food, you say, “I know what it feels to over-indulge at a buffet.” And when someone holds a grudge, you say, “I can be like that too.” In a way, we will all start being self-critical every time we see someone we would previously be critical of.
We are all just human beings, and our habits are strikingly similar. So it’d be more accurate to pity everyone for being human or pity no one for being human. (I say pity no one, because being human is great!)
wind chimes + books 